the problem of temptation
As children do imagine often, I would imagine my encounter with Anti-Christ as well. It was a tremendous exercise for the imagination of a child, who has no concept of temptation at all and the fears used to be really frightening. The most notable fear that you can have is Death, it seemed to me that it’s one tool that Anti-Christ could use against me, so I prayed to the God for courage and sometimes try to forget about it. It was not that simple……
As you are growing up your conscience and reasoning need more elaborate evidence. So I solved death by its inevitability, everyone dies so maybe death is not the biggest problem, even if I die during this ordeal I will go to heaven.
One fear always give way to other fears, there was my family whom I love greatly, but sometimes you end up making deals for their sake such as going to school regularly, or committing to other curricular activities etc and they ended up making some deals for our sake such as sacrificing their careers or giving up buying a house in the mountain valley etc. The prospect of someone hurting our family is unimaginable, let alone seeing them suffering, and I knew that it would be a breaking point for most of us, just in case Anti-Christ decides to use it against me.
(Now you begin to see that all those thriller novels, romantic films, political dramas were having a deep effect on reasoning)
As you grow into your teens’ temptation starts to make sense and you know it’s a wholly new problem. Hormones start to kick in, the world seems to become an explosion of different sensory adventures. The fear of God only holds out to a certain extent, the temptation is appealing and inviting as opposed to fear. It changes your standard equation of dealing with life in unimaginable ways. The youth knows how to handle fear through a variety of mechanisms, but temptation uses your strengths against you.
Just like to overcome fear is a tiring and complicated exercise, fighting temptation or giving in to temptation also takes a massive effort, especially if you have been raised in a conservative religious society.
As it turns out there already existed a mechanism within me to deal with temptation, more complex the problem we face, more creative solutions we create, sometimes they are amazingly simple.
Neomodern 